so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
