The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
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i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
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She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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