Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize