Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize