i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
