lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
