Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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