its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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