Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize