I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
