Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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