this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
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Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
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You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.