Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.