That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week