i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head