yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.