she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize