so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
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Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
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Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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