Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
