I feel like abortions should bother me more
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
