You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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