She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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