I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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