He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
