So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
