i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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