I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
