I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
