she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
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I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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