i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
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I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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