I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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