he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
