Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
