Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
