Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
