I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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