just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
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I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
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You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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