Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
accomplished twins. life is a go
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
