Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
