Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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