omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
