Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
