I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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