i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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