Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I didn't notice because vodka
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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