ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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