maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize