I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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