Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize