i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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