We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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