my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
