I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
