I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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