She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
