Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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