the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
