Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
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