Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
