5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
