It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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